finding a voice
by Aya skrillex
Summary: karkat is an albino reject that hates himself and has been bullied by many people. his parents died when he was young and he never talks to anyone outside the family because he's scared, but when he joins a gifted college will it all change? this is rated M for future violence language and smut
1. Chapter 1

**ok so this is what i wanted to write this instead of 2 stories that i decided to stop and did not have time for but since i am better with my time now i am starting again and i hope you like it.**

Why is it when you try to talk the words never come out? Your name is karkat vantas and no one other than your close family members like kankri, kanya and porrim have ever heard you talk before. Since you were a kid everyone always talked about your weird candy red eyes or your strange messy and snowy white hair, even your height which is now 5ft, 4. So to keep from hurting yourself you never spoke a word to them. Not even when you were really little. But today was the first day of college in a place called alternia high for rich or gifted young students. You got a scholarship in 3 major skills intelligences, music and the one you hate more than the rest of your unworthy life cross-country. Every other subject like art, craft and swimming you could not even do without screwing it up like the fuck-tard you are. You slowly open your sleepy eyes reaching for your phone on the side of your plain side draw looking for the time. Its 6:34am on a Monday morning so kankri, you're older and much more normal looking brother should be leaving for work at the coffee shop now. Just then you heard a loud shout

"Bye karkat be back at about 7 tonight. Do well at school please!" With that the door slammed shut with a large bang. Slowly you begin to prop yourself up against the bed bored. Slipping one hand through your white messy hair and with the other rubbing your red eyes. Today was going to be hell and fucking hell you were gonna hate the god forsaken school. Then you remembered a brother Kankri had a boyfriend called Cronus or some shit like that. He had a brother and sister there called eridan and what was it… Feferi? Yeah that was it but they wouldn't pay one strand of attention to you if they weren't being mean to you so who really fucking cares right? You get up feeling freezing because you were only in your boxers and you had the window open last night to air the place out. You grab a pare of grey skinny genes because the school could not find any your goddamn size and a no school tank-top with a small grey hoodie because the school was unable to order a blazer in your size either so no point going in uniform at all really. As you open the door the sun feels like it blinds your eyes with the sun beams throw the glass window. As you walk into the bathroom you run the warm tap water and before spilling all onto your face waking you up. Your brother buys 2 types of toothpaste whiting and protecting but mixing both is a better way. After you are ready and your bag is waiting ready packed by you the night before you look in the full body mirror. You look just as disgusting as you did last night with your freaky eyes and hair, how short you are and how fat you look your whole existence sickens you to the bone. Kanya porrim and kankri say to eat more and don't say things that aren't true but I don't see what they mean by it. False praise makes you so irritated it's a joke! Looking at your phone that you had un-slide from your pocket to see the time is 7:15am. So you pull up your grey hoodie and walk out after checking for your keys and your money from your part time work at the café down the road. Shutting the worn out door behind you as you speed of to school hoping not to draw any attention you yourself you feel the cold of September the start of autumn. Soon after you get to the gates of the school you wish you didn't have to go in. making your way through getting doggy looks from everyone seeing a short male in a hoodie walking around quietly was going to get attention drawn to you though so you put up with it until you get to the classroom. Everyone went silent as you walked in starring the hole fucking time making you feel trapped in a cage of snakes on edge. Everyone knows each other from the start of year week where all of the new years come for 5 days and just talk about themselves which you skipped of course. It's now 7:45 around about and the teacher walks in making everyone focuses on him but you still feel like your being watched.

"Alright everyone can you please be silent while I as a very special new student to come up." You looked at him with great horror and shook your head. But soon he had you up in front of the entire class. "This is karkat vantas he did not come to he first week but here is now here and a very important part of this school …. Umm mister vantas could you take of the hood please. You stair at him in a mix of shock and fear. He was going to make you take it off in front of everyone and they were gonna hate you for it because you are a weird mutant freak kid. You slowly un-shield your true fetchers leaving everyone around you gobsmacked. Suddenly the teacher becomes a little mad. "Mister Vantas could you please take out thoughts ridicules contacts and stop dying your hair" he thought you were faking it oh god he really will, think you're a freak why did you have to fucking come in the first god damn place. You make your way nearer to him so he could just about hear you.

"Um sir these are real" you say it in barely a whisper making him realize his mistake.

"OH I am VERY sorry mister vantas I did not think they were real please except my deepest apologize!" you nod as he slowly averts his gaze and opens the register as quick as he could. You felt the un-nerving stares coming from people plotted around the room but there was one coming from a very tallboy with black curly hair and… clown make-up? He actually looked pretty cool and his smile was not un-nerving more warm and friendly or whatever you would call it. This was short lived as your name was called, answered and the bell rang for first period. Checking your time table to see what lessons you had, you had English, free period, break, music, maths, lunch, art and…oh GOD you had sports fucking GREAT. You make your way across the corridor being shoved and pushed while others stare at your features and hair like you're not human or some shit. Luckily your books were sent to your house so there was no need for a visit to a death trap ridden hall way of lockers and normal fucking kids. Finally you made it to your class room a17 English. Soon others came in after you and no fucking surprise more people stare at you. There was a different way to things in English the teacher was called I think … Roxy lalonde and she just told you what to do and let you do it or some other stuff if you wanted but no one made a single noise or complained and that shit was weird. After that lesson however you exhaled a large breath and walked quickly down to the field where you found a shaded tree where you could sit. Hearing the sound of the wind carrying the lost flowers and leaves while birds chatted from trees and the somewhat relaxing September chill ran past your ears you thought it was going to be ok but then a group of voices filled your ears along with the vibration of foot steps and then you realized there was gonna be trouble.

**ok well hoped you liked it thanks! :)**


	2. meeting the future

**ok hey guys second chapter here thanks for reading,favoriting and following if you do it if not thanks anyway!**

As the steps and voices god nearer the more your heart got faster making your quiet spot into a death trap more and more every second until the steps stopped and the air was still. You slowly look up to see 3 boys all taller and bigger then you but it was not that hard. One was a light blonde with dark mirror shades or some shit and a red sleeved white t-shirt with a scratched CD on it, the second was tanned with a shaved head and a weird Mohawk mullet thing. The last was that same tall boy from the corner of your home room still with that lazy grin across his face. They all stared at you and you glared back. Soon one spoke with a smooth voice which was actually shades on the left. "So kid what the hell you doing down here by your self and no uniform on… do you actually even go to this school I mean your fuckin tiny." Always with the high but he was telling the true so you just give a scared and feared shrug and step away slowly tripping backwards as you do it. They laugh and giggle at your fear and this was not a good start either.

"Hey motherfucker want some help up?" he reaches his hand out to you and you flinch tightly closing your eyes waiting for a hit that did not come. Slowly you open your eyes seeing a hand held out in front of you. Was he joking or planning to hit you after? You had no clue but hesitantly you reached for it and he quickly pulled you to your feet. "OK so I am Gamzee makara, this is tavros nitram and Dave strider" he says pointing to the other boys that stand in front of you. You give an unsure wave to the boys. The middle one suddenly speaks up.

"Umm…. You got some pretty umm… sick eyes and hair it's a…actually pretty cool!" he says to you with a shy smile and you look in amazement at him like you had ever heard such words before WAIT! You had never heard those words before he had ACTUALLY said they were not freaky but fucking COOL really! You shake your head violently at him denying his kind words.

"Dude your eyes are amazing and you got a hot little face no reason to be shy about it and very your silent! Come on we won't bit!" you turn your head feeling the wind go past your ears so you're staring right at him. This is so much to take in and to hear what you THINK YOU HEARD! HOT, AMAZING they must be joking this has to be a dream a very perfect dream! You took a deep breathe and cleared your throat building up a sudden thin bare layer of confidence.

"I … I never had someone say such nice things before… th-thank you" the noise barley came out but they heard it and gave you a large smile between the 3 of them and soon the moment finished as the bell rang for break and I suddenly became afraid and lose my confidence again. The 3 of them watched me start to tremble and shift my eyes around the cold dead field again. They must think you're a scared runt or something like that as they all share a same sad look towards you. This makes you feel gone and un-needed inside like a cold winter day without any emotion or need. They then stepped a small length closer to you before smiling again.

"Hey you wanna meet some people that would be just as motherfuckin nice to ya bro?" Gamzee asked with a cat like grin across his painted face. The thought that someone could be as nice to you as these three was hard to believe but still you nod your head with a hint of a smile before they take you up across the field. All the time you walk behind them getting odd gazes from others around you, you think about how there are actually good people out there instead of cruel bullies that you had a fair share of in the past. This must mean that you might actually make friends this year! Soon you were inside the lunch hall; in front of you were a table of people all now fully staring at a mix of you and the three smiling boys.

"Hey don't just hide behind us come say hello or something!" Dave spoke shoving you forward to face everyone there. You examine the table seeing 7 others all there but there was one that caught your eyes a sandy blonde boy with one blue eye and one lime green eye. He seemed to notice your stare and you took you gaze to the floor with a slightly faster beating heart then before.

"Hello my name is karkat n… nice to meet you." you actually managed it this time only stumbling a few times.

"Nice intro now let's introduces these guys! This guy at the front is john and his girl vriska, here is smart girl over here is rose talking with the captains of the swim team eridan and Feferi the twins, terezi the half blind red head and finally the last sollux the hacker kid! So this is us." For some reason that name reminds you of some shit but you can't tell that the fuck it is… OH YEAH!

"Hey um Feferi and eridan was it well…I …umm I am Kankri's brother your brothers um boyfriend's brother." You say nervously hiding behind Dave a little more. You realize that you are kind of clinging onto him like a little shy kid or some douche thing.

"Oh yeah I remember being told about you it's very nice to meet you karkat!" Feferi says with a bubbly voice as she moved her long curly brown/ dirty blonde hair from here rosy face, while eridan gives a shrug and waves slightly inspecting your hair and eyes like the rest of them. It's nice that they except you and you were never expecting to say as much as you actually did today while making friends in the process or hopefully anyway. There was however something creeping the fuck out of you...well not creeping more shocking then anything. The way Dave said you were hot and amazing you had no idea what he meant and as for the boy sollux he seemed to stare at you differently then the rest of them and honestly you couldn't tell if he had you or was curious about you. There was something about the both of them that did not quiet settle but what the fuck was it and what did in mean?

**OK**** hoped you liked it! if not sorry!**


	3. another step in a new future path

**ok this is the third chapter i hope you like it!**

After sitting and listening to your new friends in silence you leave without a word you leave at fast pace for class. Your definitely not used to speaking and you don't want to be a chatter box after this so its probably better to keep your mouth shut at this point, you still do not know what this is all about or if they are pranking you but god hope that is not the truth. Soon you get to the corridor leading to your next room M5 music class. Suddenly you were on the floor and begin tripped over.

"Hey watch it shrimp or I will make that freaky face of yours bruise!" the kid laughs stepping on your stomach roughly pressing more and more weight on top of you as it feel like your ribs are going to snap it becomes less painful.

" douche bag get the fuck away from the kid and pick on someone with a brain half as small as yours! oh wait that's not possible!" you feel the weight come of your stomach as the large boy goes flying across the floor. Turning your agitated head to see Dave ,Gamzee and tavros all standing there, blood on Gamzee's fisted hand from that boys nose and Dave stoic as fuck while tavros just nervously watches from slightly behind the two others. Then once you were stable again you walked slowly over to the rest of them while the boy runs off with his tail between his legs. All of you went into the large music class room silently and fast as possible to avoid more trouble. You sat in the large row of chairs across the back of the room sitting with Gamzee, Dave and tavros. Soon the teacher came skipping joyfully in the room with an expression of glee across her face. She came in the middle of the large music room and spoke.

"Well hellooo everyone-ever- everyone if you don't remember my n-name its Roxy lalonde or miss or whatever you want!" the teacher sat at her desk and the continued with her strange intro of the day. "Ok so like you all have to make a band and perform for the end of term competition or some fin-fin *thing* or whatever so get into groups of 4 to 6 and try your best! Soon without warning all 3 jumped at you making you jump but not becoming so afraid unlike before. Maybe you were comfortable with these guys now? Then without thinking Dave picked you up and was holding you like a little kid in his arms. You struggled and lashed forgetting your strength kicking Dave in the chin letting you go instantly, as you clashed with the floor.

" wow mother fucker you got some strong legs there and dave bro you all up and got your attack on a bit to fast :o) honk" hold on did he just honk? Well whatever you were way more concerned with Dave at the moment.

"Dave is you o-ok I… I am really sorry?" you say seeing a bruise starting to form on his neck under the chin. He just starts to laugh and you seem very confused by this.

"Wow I thought you were like a little defenceless kid but this kitten has got some claws! Ok from I am so calling you karkitten! You pout at him and you feel very embarrassed now.

"Please don't do that ever!" you say with a pleading voice.

"Sorry karkitten its happening" ok god not this. Well at least it's not mean or insulting … you think? Soon you're all sitting on the floor, tavros in Gamzee's lap, dave sitting or laying on agents the wall and you cross legged with your hair ruffled and over one of your red eyes.

"Sooo umm… what are your umm you know instruments to use or uhh… something mine is the drums" tavros says breaking the silence.

"Mine is guitar bro what about you motherfuckers? Gamzee asks petting tavros's brown hair making him nuzzle his face into Gamzee's neck. You knew they were good friends but you did not expect this at all! All the same you thought it was cute and you had never seen this in real life except from your movies and when Cronus comes over to Ares to see kankri.

"mine is singing and I have a pretty awesome hobby of these turn tables I got" dave says laying his head on the floor while his shades are barley covering hi eyes. You look in closer to see what they looked like but he soon shoved them back on his eyes before you could get a glimpse of it.

"Well I play 2 main instruments the umm piano, violin and I sing" you say shyly.

"Cool lets go bro I want to go in motherfucking practice room and see what you sound like then" and before you could object to it telling them you couldn't sing in front of people Gamzee grabbed your hand taking you tavros and dave all down the corridor to a small practice room holding many instruments like the piano, harp, violin, cello, guitar, electric guitar, drums, piano and 3 microphones all in a cupboard connected to it.

After you had finished setting stuff up they gave you a mic sat next to a piano and let you go on ahead." Guys I really can't do this with all of you in here!" you say shaking at the thought of them listening to you.

"Come on karkitten I'm sure you can do it please!"

"Yeah come on bro please"

"Um yeah we… promise uhh not to laugh or anything like that" tavros Gamzee and Dave all are asking you to play and you decide to pick up enough courage to do it.

You pick one of the first songs you ever learnt and loved to play because you could use a violin or a piano to play it. You take a deep breathe nervously laying your hand on the keys of the piano.

"Well I am going to play a song called stray Italian greyhound, I chose it because the other on is more embarrassing to do." You are not sure if your ready but you want to give it a chance right but you barley now them you do really trust them!

**sorry these 3 chapters were short but i will try to make them better aswell please follow favourite or review if you want thank you!**


	4. more then words and being proud

**k so this one is a tiny but shorter the the others but not by much at all but i had a family thing going on so here you go chapter 4**

Piano intro* "oh no not now oh please not now" you sing with as much confidence as you could possibly get out of now where. As you loose your self in the song you begin to realize that its not as hard as you thought it was to be in front of them maybe… just maybe you do trust them as much as you had thought. Before you knew it you had sung the last word and played the last verse to the music and the moment it went silence it was replaced my a clatter of clapping and you open your eyes and turn your head swiftly to the other 3. They smiled and there amazed faces made you go a rosy red on your cheeks with sudden embarrassment as it made you feel warm inside.

"Ok that was motherfuckin miracles bro! never new you could pull of so much at one time let along sing a whole damn song , I'm proud of you brother!" Gamzee says patting your back.

"That was pretty fucking cool karkitten. nice." Dave says giving you a nod as you nod back smiling like an idiot. It was nice feeling like this and you sure didn't want it to leave but you new it would. It always did.

After that the bell rang making you jump falling of your chair and onto the floor of the wood floored practice room. You start to laugh and they all laugh along with you before you realize its time for your next class. It takes you about 2 seconds to think of your next class…maths. Well this was a shit subject that you fucking hated but it was not as bad as god forbid sports! It was a shit dough bag pointless class wasting effort and time!

"Hey karkitty! See it's not the same name now is it just the same meaning! Anyway what's your next lesson we got drama you?

"Oh sorry I ummm wait what did I… OH yeah maths!" sadly you did not have the same lessons but you had lunch after so you could stick next to them. You thought tavros was shy and kind, Gamzee was a great friend and made you comfortable but dave… he was different like he was nice kind slightly annoying but really cool and he told you real nice things it was not explainable.

You made your way to maths on the 4th floor seeing everyone at a desk of there choosing. You walk in seeing many empty seats but each one had a partner with it in sets of twos and you saw no one you had knew. Until you saw that boy sollux you think it was. It was hard to forget because of the way he just fit into your mind and stayed there like he was glued there. While you were thinking about this you realized you had not been with these 3 people and you had not even spoke to the others but you trusted some of them with your life yet you new nothing about them.

You walk over slowly to sollux's desk and he stares at you examining you again." C-can I sit here please" you slightly smiled and you sat next to him silently for a good 1 minuet.

"Tho kk you have awethome hair and eyes there really different and I though I had different eyes!"

"umm oh yeah well I really hate mine because people beat me up for it and s-stuff but I really lick your eyes there so nice and calm looking." You say seeing him smile as you notice he talks weird like with a lisp or something? But he seemed nice you think he's pretty cool to!

"Well jutht remember people with fucking bully you becauthe there jelouth of you ok? And how bad wath it?" no one was ever censored with you before so this was a shock to here!

"W-well it started when I was 4 years old and they called me freak and mutant then they would not let me play with them, soon they started to hit and beat me once I had to go hospital for broken ribs but that's what always happens. Well not broken ribs but everything else happens all the time!" well at least your getting to know him better but it makes you think about all those years ago and even more resent ones that you really hope to avoid this year.

"That's fucking awful! They had no right to do that shit to you! GOD I HATE PEOPLE LIKE THAT! SHIT IF I EVER THEE YOU GETTING METHED WITH I WILL BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF EM!" He says loudly getting worked up and to be honest you were happy someone actually though that for you he doesn't even know me but he would still do that for me! For the first time in mouths you actually wanted to cry but unlike those times it was for joy. Soon the teacher arrived and gave you 4 textbook pages to do and you had already read the text book so you just wrote down the answers from them in about 6-7 minuets while letting sollux copy of your answers. You noticed that everyone had a nick name for you as well strangely! It turns out sollux lives with his mom, dad and big brother who is mentally disabled after a skate boarding accident because he didn't wear a helmet and now he wears it everywhere. He is being stalked by eridan, his star sign is the Gemini and lives 10 houses down from you. you didn't expect to say so much in one lesson but you did and to be honest your proud of yourself and you think you should be!

ok so thats the end of chapter 4 hope you like it!


	5. out burst in the middle

**al right**** here is chapter 5 and i really hope you like it!**

After the bell rang all the students left the maths room, then you and sollux left after laughing at the way all the people barged the doors while getting hit by god knows what while you guys just go through already cleared paths. Soon however your idea of going through not hit was changes as some student with like a lot of muscle, barge you and you end up falling right `to the ground but as you do sollux try's to grab you making him fall as well. You feel the ground smack against your head. You close your eyes tight. As you open them though you see sollux with a blushed face leaning over you with his hair just stroking over your forehead and your legs in-between his which kneel over you. You blush as the whole hall turns silent and each second is an eternity. Then he suddenly jumps to his feet pulling you up after. He rub the back of the head with the blush growing from every extra second of silence.

"I umm I'm thorry kk I didn't mean to-"

"I'm fine I'm fine it's cool!" you say trying to keep it away from subject. You don't even know why you're blushing! You mean god it was just a fall and accident but it felt … strange? Like you just had a racing heart beat and like you kind of…liked it that close. WAIT WAIT HOLD IT! No ok no you did not; well ok maybe a little… NO it was just an accident it was not meant to happen AND ANYWAY! You just met him like this morning you can't just jump into it.

"Kk you aright you look kind of hot?" snapping out of it you shake your head and nod in replay. "Well ok if your thure then letth go down to meet everyone in the lunch hall!" fallowing him down the stares getting more odd looks then before you wonder if it had anything to do with what just happened or you were just imagining it. Soon you had made it to the hall in a silence not awkward but unusual in some sort of way.

You reach the table where everyone sits with a large space in-between Dave and tavros. Both you and sollux go and sit in the space so you are wedged in-between Dave and sollux with john across from you at the large table.

"so karkat right? I was wondering if you had a phone or something like that."

"Oh yeah I have a phone do you like want my number? You ask as he smiles with a bucktooth grin that looked quiet fucking happy and actually last time you saw him he looked happy maybe he was always like that?

"Sure what is it?" Suddenly everyone else looked up listening I to what it was with phones in hand. You tell them and they save it in there phone

"Heeeey karkat I was wonderrrrrrrrrrring what was that with captor nerd up there hum?

"It wath nothing bitch he fell and I tried to catch him but fell with him tho shut the fuck up!"

"What do you mean vriska what the fuck happened" Dave asked in curiosity and oh shit he was gonna think something happened! Oh wait why did you cared its not like he had anything to be upset about anyway.

"Well I was actually with vriska and what I saw was karkat on the floor with sollux leaning on top of him or something like that BUT sollux probably was telling the truth!" john admitted awkwardly starring at the two. Then suddenly tension was around the air by the table with sollux's eyes glaring at Daves shades and even with Dave's poker face he looked like he was gonna blow but what the shit was going on in the first place? Was this like something that happened a lot or what?

"Um well I'm gonna… go get some water from the canteen see you guess in a minuet" you say standing up before something could be said. Unfortunately that was not gonna happen according to Dave.

"Hey karkat wait up a second I'll come with!" you walked around the corner until you were out of sollux's vision then without warning dave took your hand and dragged you out side then slamming you against a brick wall form the school building. "Ok karkat what ACTUALLY happened!?" he leaned his hand against the wall trapping you before you could escape.

"I –I ummm… why do you ACTUALLY CARE!" you say angrily and very confused.

"I JUST WANT TO KNOW OK!" he say bringing his face closer to yours.

"Anyway what sollux said was the truth p-please let me go!" you say desperately. He suddenly grabs your arm making you drop your school back on the floor.

"Well if your sure then but you better not be fucking lying!"

"God I'm not! I'm not! but WHY do you care?" you ask a bit less bitter this time because to be honest your kind of scared .

"It's because I I… I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE OK! I just really don't like they way that sollux looks at you because it makes me feel angry and I have no idea why!" he says letting go of your hand before you pick up your belongings. He seemed very agitated and you had known him what like since this morning? So why be so clingy all of a sudden like this?

"I know exactly why" you jumped hearing sollux come from around the corner. "you dave thtrider have become my enemy today becauthe we have both fallen in love with kk and you can deny it or don't but it'th true and don't you dare lay a hand on him otherwise your worse them the bullies that hurt him before" sollux spoke.

Ok WHAT the fuck!? Your heart gets faster your mind goes a complete blank and all you can replay is " we both fell in love with kk" over and over again. This feels like a mix of a dream and nightmare collided into one emotion bubble screaming at you with to new friend you had met on your first day suddenly calming to be enemy's and to both love you?

**ok thanks for reading hope you like it**


	6. reach the end but the journey is not ove

**ok so hope you guys like this :)**

"Tho do you deny it mithter thtrider?" sollux's asks smirking directly at Dave with a cocky tone.

"You know what nerd I don't maybe I don't know because I just fucking met him today I didn't think that you know! But because you have chosen the war _I _will chose the battle! I think I wanna try to annoy you as much as I can!" sollux's face suddenly turns from a smart ass expression to pure hatred and shock, as Dave turns right around grabbing your chin and pressing his lips against yours as you feel the warmth and moister of them cover your lips roughly and harshly causing you to freeze with fear, but as soon as you realize you fight and kick him away. He then stumbles back smirking as sollux once did.

You slowly slide against the wall before falling to the ground as Dave walks off, aggressively shoving sollux in the shoulder as he was your first kiss taken so mindlessly so...carelessly this goes through your mind over and over causing tears to build up in your eyes before they over flow. As the salty water drops leek from your eyes and your frozen in shock sollux runs to your side trying to comfort you with words.

"Kk its ok! Pleathe tell me whatth the matter, I swear I will kill that dough bag!" he angrily stands up about to march after Dave to as he would say " kick his ath" but before he does your grab the end of his yellow zip up hoodie. He looks down at you before lowering himself back to the floor. Then you lean your head on his shoulder and he lets you. You are so confused now it just weird, THE FIRST DAY HAS BEEN FUCKING WEIRD! But the thing that has tipped you way over the god damn edge is that he… took your first damn kiss and you wanna kill him, you wanna hurt him and take something just as precious to him as that was to you but then you would be like him like troughs people from your old school. After what he did, you just hate him now… or do you? YES or maybe… no you really couldn't hate him you just couldn't he was kind to you no matter what he did you did still like him. Sollux is so kind to you now though and Dave… is being an utter fuck-face.

"Umm kk come on, lets go get you inside its literally freezing out here and I don't want you getting thick*sick* after all this" sollux said breaking the silence. He gives you a hand up and together you both enter the dinning room to find that your lunch table was now all directed at you sollux and Dave who was sitting silently back where he was with a stoic face and a senseless being about it.

"So karkat what was that all about earlier?" Terezi asks confused with the situation. You look at her while she simply looks or faces you with here red her completely away from here face instead of covering her red glasses. You didn't now how to answer her.

"Let's just say me and sol over there are fighting for the same prize starting today." This made sollux irritated and you could easily tell that was its intention piercing sollux's ear with every word and before you knew it he went of like I bomb.

"OH GOD YOU ARE A DICK! Karkat ith not thome prize or thome shit like that he is a real perthon and one you don't ditheve at that you dough. You kithed kk without even thinking how he fucking feelth look you fuck he wath crying hith eyeth out over there but no! You don't care do you?! Sollux said bitterly making Dave storm right up to his face.

"I never said I didn't care! You interfered with me and karkat when we were out there and maybe if you didn't come he wouldn't have got kissed and cried! I introduced him, I met him before you and guess what I won't let you get in the way of that you lispy nerd!" he grabbed sollux's hood and struck him in the jaw knocking one of his back teeth out. Everyone gasped and jumped out of there seats and a crowd forming a safe distance away. Oh god this was bad they both began punching, kicking biting and making blood form on the floor! If you had not been here this wouldn't be happening if you had not met them they would still be friends. You rewind everything again like you always fucking to and now sollux was on the floor before getting up knocking Dave in the chest. This was enough! YOU HAD IT WITH THIS SHIT ON THE FIRST FUCKING DAY! All the rage built up inside you making you a bomb of rage ready to explode! Before you knew it you were crying again!

"ARIGHT STOP" there was a shock wave going through everyone as you spoke with such anger and strength in your voice "YOU FUCKING CUT IT OUT BOTH OF YOU! FOR A START I BURLY KNOW YOU BECAUSE I MET YOU THIS FUCKING MORNING AND ALREADY YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME! WHAT THE FUCK THIS ISN'T A MOVIE WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT OK?! LOOK AT YOUR SELVES FOR A MOMENT PLEASE AND *sniffle* …stop please! PLEASE! Then everyone looks in sorrow and shock at your outburst at the two fighting starting to actually understand what was going on in the first place. You shouted so loud that your throat not only aches but grasped the attention of a teacher named Mr. English who was taken by surprise to hear the story of Dave, sollux you and there rest of the table that was also partly filed in on the matter. Kankri, sollux's parents and daves brother dirk were also filled in on the matter so when you went home kankri,kanaya,porrim and probably cronus because he is always there will be sitting down to talk with you about the matter. Then when you were at the nurse's office to accompany Dave and sollux in awkward silence because English was on your fucking tail the whole way here, you were visited by Gamzee, Feferi, and rose. They each told you very interesting information about the two of them.

For starters on Dave he also has no parents and lives with his brother dirk, he can't communicate well with others at all and he will never take his glasses of for reasons rose can't tell you yet because he has to tell you or some shit like that. Now sollux has bi-polar disorder and has meds he takes for it because he can't control things in his head. After you hear what you need they leave you alone with Gamzee to talk while dave is in one room getting some food from lose of energy and sollux is getting his mouth examined before having some honey tea because his mouth is to saw to eat anything at all!

It turns out that Gamzee is really good to talk to and it helps to talk you find out after 16 years of letting it all hide in a shell.

"Al-right best friend its time to all up and motherfuckin go to last lesson cus we missed the first two." H said heading to the door "don't worry Daves all up and gone to P.E already and sol bro went to motherfuckin I.C.T I think." So you have to avoid dave in cross country today then go home to a lecture from your two sisters and loud mouth brother. Today you found something you never expected to find. You found your voice. You have a feeling though the journey is not over though.

**ok so hope you liked it! :)**


	7. telling the truth

**OK here is number seven my unlucky number which is the opposite of what it is supposed to be!**

You were now with Gamzee in the sports department getting changed for lessons that you really did not have the emotional ability to deal with! and god this was going to me a hell of a cruel and irritating time. For starters you HATE sport, not because its effort no but because there is so may things we could be fucking doing in the time we have. Secondly you will have to avoid Dave for an entire lesson after the lunch time incident. You finish changing and follow Gamzee out to the field were everyone is warming up. Then you see Terezi and John talking with sad expressions on there face then it turns to worry as they look over to Dave who is on the side lines in shade from an oak old elk tree. He had been let of for his injuries and was at the moment sitting and leaning on his knee while staring at the plain scenery in the distance. Looking at him was just too sad to even bare as it pierced your heart all the way through. Then you realized you were staring at Dave blushing as you did. The coach came up to you and Gamzee asking if you could get in the long distance track. It was time to do the thing you hated but was better at then most, running something you always did maybe not for sport but from others around you as well, from your problems, from your fears and from the people that actually took the time to talk to you…

The sports teacher got you all lined up before starting "ready on your mark…GO! As soon as you hear that there's no stopping you from running. Leg after leg, the wind running by your face and passing everyone that now ran behind you. the one thing you get out of this is that all your worries melt away until the faded and gone from your mind for the rest of the run. It's like you escape fro everything you hate at one moment that the world is yours. Finally you past the mark point of where you started and you then stop huffing half out of breathe. You sit there as everyone else is still running and at this rate would not be finished for another 3-5 minuets.

After they all finish the coach pulls everyone in and asks a list of people including you to get on the team and run for us once every 2 weeks at the computations. You unhappily agree to keep yourself busy and away from others that you would prefer to avoid at this point in time. Then the teacher gives you some free time to relax and you look over to where Dave was sitting to him no longer there. In confusion you turn around to find him standing there and before you can back off he grabs you and pulls you back to him.

"Ok listen to me and please answer me ok! I- I am really sorry and from what I figured out that was… your first kiss AND I AM REALLY SORRY!" you squirm and he holds you tighter making it hard to move you arm at all. "I want to now something, why does sollux have that I don't! Why don't you chose one of us already and get it over with! You become angry with Dave at that moment does he really not get it!?

"DAVE HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO CHOOSE I DON'T NOW YOU THAT WELL AND I DN'T WANT TO CHOOSE OUT OF YOU AND SOLLUX I… I AM CONFUSED OK!? JUST GET AWAY FROM ME!" he lets you go and you stumble back falling hard on your ass. You get up and before he could grab you again you sprint to the changing room grabbing tall your things and trying your best to run home with tears in your disgusting eyes.

It takes you 5 minuets to trip and fall hitting your knees against the gravel hard street getting gazes and stairs from everywhere around you. You get up and run but this time limping and tripping almost every step until you manage to get to your front door. You sit at the porch to grab your keys when kankri is standing there. He swings open the door. This scared you dramatically and you were to out of breath to say one word and to honest you don't now why you felt you needed to run from Dave you just really did. Kankri pulled you to your feet before hugging you so tightly you though you were going to be crushed. From over his shoulder you saw porrim, Kanaya cronus and they all stood there in silence, as you were unable to read there face expressions kankri let you go and took you inside. Every one of you silently walked into th living room where you all sat at the chairs around the room.

"Karkat you should have told me you hated yourself that much because I really didn't know nor did I know that you were bullied so harshly at school!" he must have came back from work early and called everyone hear. They must have known by now about sollux and Dave as well. Kanaya was the second to speck.

"karkat you can talk and trust us can't you?" you nod in reply and she shakes her head "karkat please I know your able to say more then this because I heard the out burst that happened at lunch from kankri who was told by you, the teacher and several others!" you never heard Kanaya talk so roughly before and it hurt your ears with every word that was spoken.

"there right karkat please just tell us we can help you!" that was when you remember how good it felt to talk about it with Gamzee and they wanted to know so you should tell them right here and now so its better for all of you

**ok that was chapter 7 sorry its short**


	8. SHIT

**OK HERE WE GO CHAPTER 8!**

They sit there in pure silence listening to ramble on and on with dropped jaws. They had shocked expressions on there faces. They had never once heard you speak so much at one time, it was not that they never wanted to but you never wanted to. Now you knew you could there was no stopping you poured out your heart to them and they listen to you.

After you had finished about 30 minuets later for some reason your face felt sour and wet and you realized had been crying while talking. You had not realized but it really was that you were unknowingly crying. Kanaya was the first to say something 10 minuets after you had finished the story about your uncomfortable and some what pathetic day.

"Karkat… I really need you to tell me the truth ok?" nodding you gulp feeling like this question was going too one of those Kanaya makes this sound different from what they are type questions. "Well do you love them or not and if so which one?" wow ok worse then a Kanaya question. You did like them in a different way then Gamzee and the others but you didn't understand it at all… maybe you did actually love them? If so which damn fucking one was It!? This made your mind practically explode with the whole idea of choosing.

"The thing is… I do like them but I have no clue which one it is!" you say irritated and a little ashamed with your self as you lower your head. Then un expectedly porrim snickered and cronus was smirking off like some douche with a secrete. It was pissing you off a lot. "What is it now lord douche!" you say grumpy like you had to bear with them all the time.

"Karkat, language! Do not call cronus that it can be highly triggering!" kankri says scowling over you.

"Its nothing just the relationship could work with three can't it! You should now I mean how many of those chick-flicks have you seen?" he says smartly as you clutch your fist tight wanting to punch his gut in! But however you were confused why was that funny I mean it could work if they all were ok with each other and no one cared but what was the funny or sick joke in between the lines? You the n look up to see Kanaya was blushing, porrim just plain laughing Cronus getting a lecture from kankri then there was you confused and irritated. You just sat there as they came but from there separate convocations.

"Karkat I think you should have a rest it has been a… stressful day for you and you probably very tired." You agree and make your way up the stairs while the rest of them keep on with there group discussion. As you slam on to your bed, dropping you bag lazily on the floor you start to take of your clothes. They come over your head making your hair messier then it already was. They now lay lazily on the floor along with you abandoned school bag. You walk into the bathroom turning the shower in while pinching out your favourite shampoo, conditioner and body wash. For some reason you love to mix and match your products and today you choose apple shampoo, honey conditioner and cherry shower gel. Who cares if you use beauty products because kankri Kanaya and porrim all of them do to. Your Sisters were the ones to show you how awesome they were in the first place! They said it was good for my skin and since then you never stopped using them. After you picked the 3 you were using you switched on the shower to warm and got striate under it. Scrubbing the cold shampoo into your hair while mixing it with conditioner because your to lazy to wash it out twice you realize that there isn't a towel in here. So you decide to leave it and cross that bridge when it comes to it because it has been weird day and you need a break. Then once you're sure all the hair product is washed away you move on to the shower gel. You actually need a little more because this is your favourite and you're running out faster then you had first thought. Feeling the hot water spray onto your neck and down wards from there you begin to use the shower gel scrubbing your skin and body until covered in soup. By now you were tired of standing up so you washed of the soup while hopping out of the shower and out into the cold feeling bathroom air. Once you realize once again there is no towel you just decide to walk out without any making a dash for it before slamming the door behind you. You just flap onto your bed soon after, curling your self up in the white soft bed sheet and slowly fall asleep to the dreams that would probably turn to nightmares at the end.

You sit up straight from the dream that you had realizing that no one was dead and it was dream. You find yourself hungry for the first time in a while so you put a robe on and creep down stairs seeing that everyone is now making tea and taking it into the other room. Taking the chance you run into the kitchen grabbing a pot noodle filling it with ready boiled water and run upstairs finding your mission to get food without being seen complete.

The pot noodle was chicken flavour and was one of your favourites and you enjoyed it a lot. However now that it was finished and you wanted to rest more seeing you weren't going to work because it was like 7:30 by now. You took off the robe because you can't sleep with cloths on and lay your head on the pillows. Only for it to be interrupted by knocking at the door, at first you wonder who the fuck it could be when all of a sudden you hear two voices say the same thing.

"Can we Pleathe thpeak to karkat?"

"Can we please speak to karkat?"

SHIT!

**OK THAT WAS CHAPTER 8!**


	9. three can be a good number

**ok then there we go**

SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!

They were outside your god damn door! What the hell where they here for anyway without killing each other on the spot? Well anyway they would not be coming in here. Kankri wouldn't let them in here would he!? You listen in to them from your bed.

"Umm I am sorry but I assume you are sollux and…Dave? Kankri asked unsure of this situation.

"Yeah we need to speech to him about well… you probably already know what." Dave says awkwardly.

"well I don't think he wants to see you at the moment and I am not and I repeat not sending him to school while he is like this for the next week or so and I would like to ask it if you would leave before I get irritated, plus its starting to rain and there's going to be a storm soon so you had better hurry!" kankri seemed not as calm as normal and this situation was getting a bit fucking annoying at any rate. Then you herd a loud crash and got a bit concord before hearing this.

"Pleathe we need to say something to him!" sollux begged. Then you heard the door slam shut and you thought they had gone. Thinking with you curled back into the white covers and pillow while shutting your eyes. About 2-3 minuets later you heard giggling and snickering coming from the other side of the room. Your eyes flicked open as you sat up faster then you could say get out.

"w-what are you doing here! GET THE FUCK OUT!" you say in shock and a little bit embarrassed.

"Calm down there we just want to tell you something important ok?" Dave says while you sigh letting them continue. "Well we decided we were gonna share you if you'd let us?" this made your blood boil with rage. SHARE YOU!? WHAT MAKES THEM THINK YOU WANTED TO EVEN BE WITH THEM IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE!?

"OK YOU LISTEN SHIT MUNCHERS I NEVER EVEN SAID I WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU LET ALONE BOTH OF YOU!" you scream at the top of your voice when you hear a crash of thunder followed by a flash of lashing across the closed window making you jump falling of the bed. The blanket fell over you while you lay irritated on the floor with a heavy cover over your head.

"Umm tho you want us to help you up?" sollux laughs coming your way. You blush slightly thinking to yourself how embarrassing this was. They both try to lift you up in it before plopping you on the bed. That's were it gets bad! You finally remember you were not wearing cloths when Dave and sollux stare at you and what you blush harder with every second. Quickly you pull the covers over you and hid inside them before you feel something grab a hold of you and you come out to shout before a soft warm kiss falls upon your lips calming you down and this time its sollux not dave.

"Please think about it. Or maybe this will change your mind." Then he takes of your t-shirt and you get a doggy feeling from it.

"What WHAT ARE YOU DO-HMMNN" your question is muffled by Dave who comes over leaning on you while kissing you much nicer then before. You realize what was about to happen but right now you didn't want to stop. dave before you know it are fully undressed and taking turns with sollux to kiss you and your body before you watch dave wonder of to the other side of the room. you then look at sollux who just planted a heavily heated kiss to your lips. You parted you the allowing his tongue to check around your warm mouth making you taste a very sweet warm texture like he was eating candy or something. Sollux was the first to brake the kiss and retreated to where you saw what Dave was doing, he had brought that reading chair in the corner of your room to the middle of it. Before you could even understand what was going on Dave sat in the chair while you were jumped and picked up by sollux. There was another clash of thunder from the sky like it was roaring at you and in fear clung to sollux's lean yet well built figure feeling his warm skin on yours. The next part was a bit of a blur with sollux putting you down onto Daves lap.

"Sorry about this karkat but this is kind of gonna hurt" Dave said smoothly. Without another word he thrusted himself into you making you feel great pain in side and up your spine. This made you let out a large moan, arching your back and OH FUCK this was weird but good! Barley able to open your eyes you look over to sollux you smirks at you before getting on his hands and knees oh shi-AHH. Your mind when completely blank as you felt his moist warm mouth take your painful erection into his mouth. Making you give a single loud grunt while you tangle your fingers in his sandy blonde hair.

"sooo now will you go let us share you my little kitten?" dave said with a smart ass exposition while whispering it in your ear after smelling your damp hair" yum your hair smells so nice~" he moaned before thrusting into you in a beat casing your erection to go deeper and deeper into sollux's mouth.

"Fuck-AHH YOU… OH GOD!" this was getting hotter every time you felt him thrust you and the moistness of sollux's mouth just added the pleasure on.

"Actually I think I'm the one fucking you " he laughs before moaning and directing it into your ears. "AHH shit you're so damn tight" he pants heavily.

"I don't fucking –care and why do you still have toughs shades on you douche!? You ask at the dumb fuck question.

"Well I will show you later just shut up and beg for this!" dave say thrusting into another time but this one made a pleasure sensation travel up your spine making you let out a loud moan that the hole fucking neighbourhood could hear!

" oh fuck dave yes~" then he continued hitting the same spot over and over while sollux started humming and sucking harder and harder until you reached your max and yelled. "SOLLUX, DAVE I'M GONNA CU-AHH!" before you could even finish that sentence you were cuming inside sollux's mouth. He tried to swallow what he could but some still got out and around his mouth along with Dave not long after doing the same inside you filling you with it. Sollux stopped making a loud popping noise while whipping his mouth clean. You all pant out of breathe fro the previous event and sollux stood up only to flop himself onto your bed. You tried to stand and do the same but fell right to the floor feeling pain in your lower back. Oh shit you could move your legs! Dave laughed picking you up and laying you down in between him and sollux.

"Tho kk what'th your anthwer to are question now" sollux said with his eyes closed.

"Well if Dave shows me his eyes and puts the cover over us before i try and get it myself then yes if not then no." you say laughing still out of breath before dave the covers over all three of you.

"I'll show you but.. You promise not to be freaked out?" you nod as he slowly takes of the shades reviling beautiful red eyes that resembled yours.

"Wow there so…beautiful!" you say starring right at them intensely.

"You think so?" he asks questionable. smiling and holding you he leaves them on the bed side draws before cuddling up to you and sollux as you drift of to sleep…or you had hoped. unfortunately The door opened slowly to see all members of the house grinning except for kankri who looked every disapproving at all of you, but you were so tired you really could not fucking care right now even though you new what was coming in the morning! So you closed your eyes and drifted to sleep with sollux and dave both clinging to you. maybe you could like them both after all!

**ok i think i end the fanfic here!**


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